~Winter Haze~
the day is the damp tear fall
of a winter gray sky
crying out for spring
if only ten degrees would
give in
would it be so hard
to show today ten degrees
for Grace
is throwing up her arms
and tossing back
her half cocked head
to search for God
in the clouds
briefly swearing she saw His face
before the wind blew Him away
and big business is shaking
the economy, down
like a pathetic cop
feeding on the authority
when writing a $200 speeding ticket
you have to fly
too keep up with
life
and the sun still shines
from time to time
in winter
and the machine
though, lacking oil
will also run again
~Frustration~
the air is damp
around me
falls the clouds
that shade
my judgement
ambiguous-
the sides
still drawing...
the line
is fucking tired
of being
in the middle
~Inhaled~
shaking, the reality
the long exhale
that slows the world's spin
and I turn to you
in the comfort
of (com)passion- lies
the beauty
of imagination
that takes shape
in our actions
holding the breath
tighter just
before the release
the flicker of
your image
burned a hole
in my lungs
love is a cancer
that consumes us
we know the risks
and yet we bring it
to our lips
"my God, I love you"
and then
it sucks us in
~Forgiving You~
maybe it's the mirage
of acceptance
of my human condition
but I keep looking
for a way to dig
the heel of your
combat boot youth
and frightened immaturity
out of my back
so many faces
reminding me of you
who never had time
you, who traded your life
for a cheap whore
during the promise
breaking, for young love
and your TET offensive
recovery
comes at a high price
for me now
some thirty-four
years later
before finally knowing you
really love me
your acceptance
secretely sought
in the arms of every man
I have ever loved
never loved enough
by any one
for lack of you
the ever comedian
stage front for saving
others to save yourself
and I forgive you
for not knowing
how to love
~We Gamble~
wagering on the thought of you
I see your bet and raise you
to a level that makes you smile
you study me closely, trying
to decide what to do with your hand
I twirl a piece of my hair nervously
wondering why it has to be a game
until you lay it down
slowly, smoothly-
all the while looking in my eyes
calling my bluff...
baby, you're aces
~Dead Batteries~
lost in the dust
of the chances
I let pass me
pleading for
one
more
go
around the
wheel I lost
control of
me
who I was
with you
with me
wanting to
pop the clutch
that would
finally get us
moving
in a direction
that made sense
senseless fleeing
of time; of
the scene-
went out
of my focus
just long
enough
for another's
sights to set
on you
the burden of wonder
on me
the weight
of what
I tried to
say
but could not
and to think
I call
myself
a poet
words
touching the
tip
of my tongue
to the metal
end...
no more spark
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BIO: Chloe Ryan is 34 but clinging to "chick status".
She has 20 poems in a poetry book "Dark Nights", has
her own book, "Leaving Yesterday", published by Crazy
Horse Publishing, and was recently published in The
Dream People and Nirvana Flats. She's rumored to being
doing something at the 2003 Pop Culture Association's
Annual Conference, but then again, there are probably
many rumors about her...she only admits to the good
ones. She claims "life is so full of possibilities and
the thrill of the unknown is so great".
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