BEFORE MIDNIGHT

Two hours before midnight
I battle to fall asleep
I keep the windows open
To let the cold air hit me
I can smell the fertilizer
And that only makes it worse
I close the window and
My pillow in different spots
For my head and my face

It's one hour before midnight
And I still wage this war
With sleep: I kick the sheets
With my feet and I hear the sink
Leaking: I get up and stop the leak
I step on a wet spot in the kitchen
Where ice must have fallen earlier
In the evening: I had tossed a cube
Toward the sink: I may have missed

I look at the bills on the table
I frown and walk back to bed
With one wet sock and one dry one
I take them both off and fall into
Bed with an old Poetry Magazine
If this doesn't shut my eyes, then
Nothing will: Before I know it
It's 5am and I feel relaxed, "like a
Patient etherized upon a table"

 

AT THE CONVALESCENT HOSPITAL FOR THE MENTALLY ILL*

Not a visit
In the past two years
Not a phone call
Or a holiday letter
There sat the father
There sat the husband
Alone with his illness
In that wheelchair
Sent to various hospitals
Because he asked for death
The cancer eating him
The mental illness
Not helping his cause
A call comes to the office
I am the son
Does my father have long to live?
By the way does he have any money
Left in his estate?
Am I entitled to it when he dies?
Do I get his ashes?
No, I don't have time to visit
No, I don't have the money
To pay for the funeral services
The father dies
And the ex-wife calls:
When can I have the money
From my husband's estate
The son calls asking for the same thing
Sorry, but the morgue must be paid
For transportation and cremation
The funeral services must also be paid
Perhaps when the worms
Get through with the body
You vultures may pick at the bones

*To be published in Raw Materials, my first book of poems

 

MIND READER

I miss my family.
I feel sad.
A patient has been placed
On restraints.
I'm responsible for
This because
I should have been gentle
With this girl.
I got into her mind,
Read her thoughts,
And reminded her of
Her worst fears.
I drove her insane with
My laughter.
She snapped. She couldn't take it
Any longer.
Ever since my baptism,
My spirit
Has been split, and heaven
Is grieving.
Spirits have come and have
Inserted
Their madness into me.
I'm their bank.
I'm wealthy with knowledge
And power.
Sometimes I am evil
Out of spite.
I want to be normal:
Imperfect:
With flaws. This mind reading
Frightens me.

 

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